Feature Story
Hockey parenting made simple
By Dan Bauer
It is official, all youth athletics are
nuts. Hockey may have earned the right of getting there first, but every other
sport has now fallen in place. They are all too organized, travel too much, too
expensive and too time consuming. We put too much emphasis on keeping score
and winning and too little emphasis on having fun.
As another youth hockey season descends
upon us, I have some simple advice for parents to help make your hockey
experience more enjoyable.
Skip tryouts. Leave the rink, go to a
movie, have dinner with your spouse, just stay away. If your
child makes the A team, be happy and humble. If your child makes the B
team, be happy and calm. Next to skill, the most important quality of a good
athlete is confidence. Benefit: Stress reduction.
Every rink has a water fountain. Save
time and money on the Gatorade, because I’m not certain that 10 year olds even
have electrolytes. And if they do, I bet they have a lot of them. We only start
losing things when we get older. Savings: 80-plus games & practices @ $2.00
= $160.
They can carry their own bag and if they
can’t it’s too big. You don’t carry your kid’s backpack to school for them; you
shouldn’t have to carry their hockey bag either. Donate your wheelie bag to a
stewardess and get one that has to be carried. Benefit: Increased leg strength.
Kids can dress and undress themselves –
go get a cup of coffee and relax. Once they have been through it a few times
they can figure it out. And if they can’t, that is why they have teammates.
Eventually they will get it on or off. Be patient. Benefit: Team unity. (PS: coffee is cheaper then Gatorade)
Teach them to tie their own skates as
soon as possible – good skaters have loose skates, so let them get use to it
early. As long as you keep tying them, they are going to let you. Haven’t we
learned this “helpless” lesson before? Benefit: Ankle strength.
New equipment is for Christmas, maybe a
birthday – but should not be a birthright of every new season. Buy used
equipment—a 58-pound squirt doesn’t need the support of a $300 pair of skates.
A $300 pair of skates could be worn by a
58-pound squirt for 10 years and still not be worn out – it’s basic physics.
Today’s skates are as rigid as Marine Corps training. Savings: $200+.
On the subject of skates, as soon as they
are old enough to drive, they are old enough to get their own skates sharpened.
If they tell you they don’t have time, compare your schedule to theirs, then hand the skates back to them. Benefit: Time for you
& responsibility for them.
Buy wooden sticks. Force dealers to put
them back on the stick rack; it is supply and demand economics. A nine year old
doesn’t need a composite stick unless he is six-feet tall and 200 pounds, or
you can buy a 10 flex. A wooden stick will do fine. Save me the sales pitch on
response and feel. Until they can feel the difference between
clean and dirty hair, save your money. And like tying skates, they can
learn to tape their stick much sooner than they would like you to believe Savings $200+. Benefit: Wrist strength and eye-hand
coordination.
Kids believe that the concession stand is
an essential part of hockey – like their skates. If they go out and skate well,
have fun and come off with a smile on their face –they don’t need a reward,
except maybe a pat on the back. Walk past the concession stand a few times – I
know we need to support the rink, but it shouldn’t be the place where you eat
most of your meals.
They also don’t need breakfast at Perkins
or lunch at McDonalds after every game or practice. Let them learn that the
reward is hockey! It is a privilege to be able to play and if they don’t make
their bed and feed the dog, you will take it away. Benefit: Discipline, help
around the house, more money for coffee.
Herb Brooks said it best, “The name on
the front of the jersey is a heck of a lot more important than the name on the
back”. This is a team sport; the sooner kids learn that, the better. Names on
the back of jerseys are for when you get to the
Don’t watch every practice – let them
tell you about a few – they’ll enjoy it. Send them the message that you have
more important things to do than watch the practice. This is not neglect, but
common sense. If parents spent as much time helping kids with their homework as
they do watching practice, our kids would all be getting straight A’s. This is
their experience – not yours. Turn them loose. Benefit: Time.
Let your kids have fun. If their best
friend calls on a Friday night and wants them to a) go to a movie, b) go to the outdoor rink or c) go sledding, don’t say no because they
have a game tomorrow, or in most cases three games. They are kids. If you
haven’t noticed, they don’t get tired. Do you ever remember being too tired as
a kid? Let them go swimming at the motel or play football in the snow. AJ Hawk
might need to sleep in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, but your kid doesn’t.
Benefit: Balance and a happier child.
Don’t try to coach – your team already
has one. Pat them on the back after a tough loss and thank them for their time
and effort. Buy them a cup of coffee and talk about anything but hockey.
Benefit: Respect.
Last, but not least, at an athletic
contest you can be a player, a coach, a fan or an official – but you can only
be one. For those parents who are confused, you are a fan. Cheer when your team
does something well. Drink coffee the rest of the time, it tastes better than
your foot. Benefit: More friends, fewer enemies.
Enjoy your season!
Dan Bauer is the head hockey coach at
Let’s Play Hockey
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