Feature Story
You might be a hockey fan in Minnesota
By Kevin Kurtt
Let’s Play Hockey Editor
We’ve all seen the ‘You know you’re a Minnesotan’
lists that give us such truisms as ‘you thought Grumpy Old Men was
documentary,’ ‘your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February,
‘you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi and Shakopee,’ and ‘you know all four
seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction.’ We get these in
our inbox, actually get the jokes and immediately forward them to our
Now it’s time to dive deeper into one of
the aspects of what it’s like to be Minnesotan – hockey. Whether you played the
game, cheered from the stands or learned the sport from your kids, there are a
multitude of ways you can tell if you’re a hockey fan from the great state of
Without further ado, you might be a
hockey fan in
• You get ticked off when you hear
• You grow your beard during
• You yearn for the days of clear boards
at the state high school tournament.
• You anxiously count the days until the
temperature hits 32 degrees so you can flood your backyard to create your very
own rink.
• You paint blue lines in your backyard.
• You install an elaborate lighting
system solely for night games on your backyard rink.
• You miss the atmosphere of old Mariucci Arena, but appreciate the beauty of new Mariucci Arena.
• Your kids know Derek Boogaard as The Boogeyman.
• You make the annual pilgrimage north
for the Roseau-Warroad game.
• You make the annual pilgrimage to
• You make the annual pilgrimage to
• You think the
• You think the Battle Hymn of the
Republic was written specifically for Gopher home series sweeps.
• You grew up wanting to wear the ‘M.’
• You don’t get annoyed by the homerism displayed by Doug Woog
and Glen Sonmor.
• You destroyed your
basement/garage/garage door/windows/neighbor’s windows with all those hours of
indoor/outdoor hockey at home.
• You know the Schwan
Super Rink in
• You yell the words “Let’s! Play! Hockey!” before every game…not just at Wild games.
• You yearn for the days of the one-class
state high school hockey tournament.
• You know the words to the Wild Anthem.
• You spend more hours in hockey rinks
than you do in your own home.
• You cheer a lengthy cycling of the
puck.
• You cheer a successful penalty kill.
• You sarcastically cheer when a ref you
swear is out to get your team finally calls a penalty in your team’s favor.
• You sarcastically cheer when a
struggling opponent’s goalie finally makes a save.
• You bought the book “Minnesota North
Stars: History and Memories with Lou Nanne.”
• You got a team together of the U.S.
Pond Hockey Championships.
• You punish your kids with “minors,”
“majors” and “misconducts.”
• You use hockey tape to wrap gifts.
• You know where the U.S. Hockey Hall of
Fame resides.
• You know where the world’s largest
hockey stick resides.
• You refuse to say “shutout” until the
final horn goes off.
• You throw your hat onto the ice after a
player on your favorite team scores his/her third goal.
• You think there are three periods in
basketball.
• You cried when the North Stars left.
• You cried when
• You may dislike Norm Coleman for a lot
of things, but you’ll always love him for bringing the
• The name ‘Norm Green’ still boils your
blood.
• You teach your kids the signals for all
penalties before you teach them the alphabet.
• You use a puck as a paperweight.
• You don’t even notice the smell of a
hockey locker room anymore.
• You keep your skates and stick in your
car…just in case.
• You enjoy the “Mighty Ducks” movies and
beem with pride when you recognize locations on the
screen.
• You buy a Wild/Gopher/<insert
favorite
• You remember where you were when the
Gophers won the 2002 NCAA Championship.
• You can point out all the inaccuracies
of the otherwise excellent movie “Miracle.”
• You grow your hair so it comes out the
sides of your helmet.
• You think the only way to play true hockey
is outside on a pond/at a park/in your backyard rink.
• You fit your kids for skates the moment
they start walking.
• You think hockey homework is just as
important as school homework.
• You revere Herb Brooks.
• You miss Al Shaver’s voice on the radio.
• You miss the mini donuts at Mariucci Arena.
• You consider the state high school
tournament days as holidays.
• You miss the
• You skip work/school to watch the state
high school tournament.
• Your kids wear apparel from several
WCHA teams.
• You wear your jersey according to the
way your favorite player wears his/her jersey.
• You know the name of the person who
sharpens your skates.
• The person who sharpens your skates know you by the blades on your skates.
• You wouldn’t be caught dead putting
your skates into one of those machines that claims to
sharpen skates.
• You are incredibly particular about
your stick’s pattern (curve, flex, etc.).
• You own every one of Ross Bernstein’s
books on hockey.
• Your kids play hockey year-round.
• You take the parents vs. kids games really seriously
• You scout your town’s Squirts to see
what your high school team will be like in five years or so.
• You never miss a chance to pick up the
latest Let’s Play Hockey at your local rink/sporting good store.
• You have searched piles of snow for an
errant puck at your local outdoor rink.
• You have shoveled the ice at your local
rink after a snowfall.
• You think there’s no temperature too
cold to play hockey outside.
• You can’t wait for the John Rose Oval in
• You can name all the Broten brothers.
• You can name all the Hankinson
brothers.
• You can name all the Micheletti’s.
• You know what a “Herbie”
is.
• You can instinctively drive to any town’s
hockey arena.
• You specifically shop for boots that
can withstand the temperature at the coldest ice arena in the state.
• You think the Zamboni
is mankind’s greatest invention.
• You have honestly considered taking Zamboni driving lessons.
• You have wild.com, gophersports.com,
gopherpucklive.com or minnhock.com as your home page.
• You own and proudly wear one of those
Rink Rats t-shirts.
• You own both editions of the Let’s Play
Hockey bobblehead.
• You consider being named Mr. Hockey or
Ms. Hockey the highest award a Minnesotan can win.
• You’re amazed when you learn that a
fellow Minnesotan doesn’t know how to skate.
• You can walk or jog on a freshly
resurfaced sheet of ice without losing balance at all.
• You bought a minivan or SUV for the sole
reason that it can hold all your kids’ hockey equipment.
• You know what arena in the state serves
the best hot chocolate.
• You remember Goldy
on his perch at old Mariucci Arena.
• You think Terrence Fogarty should be
held in the same esteem as Van Gogh or Monet.
• You don’t find it the least bit ironic
that you favorite sport when it’s cold outside is played where it’s cold
inside.
Let’s Play Hockey wants to publish your hockey stories. From tournament
reports, to feature stories on teams, players or coaches, to opinion pieces on
the game of hockey, Let’s Play Hockey accepts submissions from readers
throughout the hockey community. To submit your hockey story and/or photo(s),
e-mail us at editor@letsplayhockey.com.